The purpose of this blog isn’t to encourage me to write, it’s to encourage me to share what I write. Writing has always been enjoyable for me; putting my thoughts on to the page, tweaking the words as I review and edit.
And as much as I enjoy writing, publishing what I write terrifies me. Workshop days made me physically sick as my classmates would pick apart my carefully chosen words; hours of work ravaged in minutes.
I learned to write safely. I chose topics and subjects that I knew everyone would enjoy reading and hid away the risky works for myself. I filled my computer with stories and journal entries and poems that I never intended to let anyone see. I became content in my job which was to edit the words of others.
Working with my students, I encouraged them to tell their stories in their college essays. I would sit and encourage them to write, to not be afraid of what others would think. The irony was not lost on me. The advice that I gave to my students, I couldn’t even follow myself.
I started several blogs and websites but as soon as I was ready to share my work, my fears and anxieties prevented me from making my work public. The fear of what others would think about my writing paralyzed me.
I can’t really tell you what changed to make me finally begin to post my writing. I won’t tell you I had an epiphany or felt called to start this blog. If anything, this blog is motivated by the same thing that prevented me from publishing my writing in the first place: fear. But now, the fear of what others will say about my writing is overshadowed by the fear of never reaching my fullest potential as a writer.